Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Edward fifth and chaser hands
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
