Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize