I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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