he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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