Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
