dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
