I bet he comes in French.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
