I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
