Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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