Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
