I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Four minutes until I can fart!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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