Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
