I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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