Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
