So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
