party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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