$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
