Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
