mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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