sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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