My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
