Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize