he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
