I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
