I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
