Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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