honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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