the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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