Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
