her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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