eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
