You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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