i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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