By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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