I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
