I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
