I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
