nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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