You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize