My hair reeks of homosexuality.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
