Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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