i just had sex bonerless
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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