Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
