hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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