guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
