do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
