Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize