if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
