they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
