I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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