She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
