i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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