the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
