I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
