Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
