Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
