that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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