Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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