Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She needs sedatives and a leash
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
