I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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