My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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