I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm just crazy horny about you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
