The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
