dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
