you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I skipped work to stalk him.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
