it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
